I Just Have One More Day To Live

A weird, pathetic, psycho like human clad in hermit dress came to me and said "God has given you only one day to live. You will die tomorrow." The next moment I was hit by a truck. I opened my eyes and found myself in my bed. I was glad that it was only a dream, but that dream made me think. What would I do if God told me I would die tomorrow? Many things came to my mind. I wanted to eat all types of vegetarian cuisines to my heart's content. Stomach's content rather. :) I wanted to find out how many people would believe me if I told them I would die tomorrow. I wanted to meet all the persons I knew. I wanted to relive all the merry moments of my life. Finally, I thought like the typical me. I thought I would die today rather than tomorrow and prove God wrong. :)

PS : Don't start an issue saying no one can prove God wrong etc. I posted this because I was amazed at my own idea. Well, if you care to leave a comment, do mention what you would do if God told you, you would die tomorrow.

Funny Moments Outside Home

1. During my first IV, I shared a room with five other people(Manoj, Dhanasekar, Aswin, Uday and Bharatwaj). Bharathwaj was the first person to go to sleep and the last person to wake up. On morning, he woke up at five and said he was very hungry. He disturbed the sleep of everyone in the room and asked us to get ready soon. Once everyone was ready, we went to a near by hotel to eat. Bharatwaj said he was hungry for at least fifty times before we started and when we reached the hotel, he ate just two idlys and said his tummy was full!

2. During my Cochin IV, Bharathwaj, while searching for his belt, started sleeping in his standing posture.

3. While going to Jerusalem college via bus, Krishna fell out of the bus like how Prabu Deva jumped from a bus in a song(orvasi orvasi) from the film Kadhalan. He fell as if he thought gravity never existed. He ended up having bruises in his face, hands and legs. The bruise on his nose made him look like a clown. Lol. I think the prize money that he won was just enough to cover his medical expense.

4. When I went to Kodaikanal with my school friends, my friend Raghuveer handed Gadhadharan a travel bag and asked him to carry it. Gadhadharan said "Ella luggage yum en kittaye kudhukadha da (Don't give me all the luggage)". He said this holding just a good day biscuit packet in his hand.

Funny Moments In Flat

1. I was studying in fifth standard when this incident (more of an accident) happened. School was closed for dasara. It was the first day of dasara vacation and we (Karthik, Adithya and I) decided to play individual cricket as early as 7:30 in the morning. I heaved the bat high and gave a it huge swing at the very first ball I faced. The trajectory of the ball traced a nice, smooth, curvilinear path and landed on the terrace of the neighbouring flat. As per our rules, the one who hits the ball out of the flat is supposed to go fetch it. So in order to get the ball, I climbed on the parapet wall adjoining the two buildings. From there, I climbed on top of their car shed and from there, reached the terrace. I saw the ball, took it and threw it into my flat. So far, so good. Then suddenly, when I was about to leave, I heard the sound of the terrace door being unlocked. I didn't know what to do and went and sat on the parapet wall (I still don't know why I did that). I was trembling with fear and the moment I saw the flat owner come into my line of sight, I jumped off the parapet wall. I had an awkward landing and on hitting the ground, I went flying into the opposite house almost bringing down the door along with me. X-rays revealed hair line fracture in both heels and I was forbidden from playing outdoor games for three months. This wasn't funny back then.

2. Adithya dialed Naidu Hall's number and ordered two bhel puris!

3. Karthik shifted to a new flat few blocks away from my flat. One day, after shifting to the new house, Karthik came to visit his old flat friends. He came via his bicycle. He parked his bicycle in his usual place and was standing in the first floor balcony waiting for his brother, Adithya. When Adithya came, he asked Karthik, where their bicycle was. Karthik said he had kept it in it's usual place. Adithya said it was not there in the usual place. After a few minutes, they realised that their bicycle had been stolen. Then came the funny part. Karthik said "Nammo cycle ah orthan ottittu pordha nan pathen. Ada, namba cycle madriye oru cycle avan vechurukan nu nenaichuten!(I saw a guy riding our bicycle but I thought he had an exactly similar bicycle!)".

4. One sunday, few of my school friends came to my house. We decided to play a prank on someone. We unanimously choose to have Bharath as the victim. The following phone conversation happened between Arun and Bharath.
Arun: Hello, nange sun tv lendhu pesarom. Oru pudhu quiz show aaramichurukom. nange moonu kelvi kepom. Adhukku neenge correct ah bathil sollitenga na, aayiram rubai ungalukku parisa kudukka padum.(Hello, we are calling from sun tv. We have started a new quiz program. We'll ask you three questions and if you answers them right, you'll win a cash prize of rs 1000.)
Bharath: Ok.

Arun: Ungalukkana mudhal kelvi. Tamil Nattin thalai nagaram edhu?(Here is your first question. What is the capital of Tamil Nadu?)

Bharath: Chennai.

Arun: Seriyana bathil. Inum rendu kelvikku bathil sonna, aayiram rubai ungalukku. Rendhavadhu kelvi, Doctor aagarthukku enna padikanum?(That's the right answer. Just two questions seperate you and the thousand rupees. Here is your second question. What must one study to become a doctor?)

Bharath: M.B.B.S.

Arun: Seriyana bathil. Kadaisi kelvi, pulli raja ku aids varuma?(That's the right answer. Here is you last question. Will pulli raja get aids?)

Bharath: Enna sir ippilam kekarenge(Why are you asking me questions like this?)

Arun: Seri appo ungalukku varuma?(Ok then tell me whether you'll get it or not).

Bharath realised that it was a prank call only then and hung up the call.

Funny Moments In College

1. EG professor's voice was so feeble that even he couldn't hear himself talk. Attending EG class was analogous to watching a mute movie. Venkatraman was so fed up with EG class that he started writing Sri Rama Jeyam during EG hours!

2. During the first semester, the last but one bench was shared by Venkatraman, Balaji, Ganesh(me) and Karthik(Order of seating from left to right). Chemistry teacher had announced a test for which neither me nor my bench mates came prepared. Each one thought someone else will come prepared and the rest can copy from him. A mega flop presumption. When we came to know that no one came prepared, Venkatraman came up with a bright idea. He said he'll copy from the book, Balaji should copy from him, I should copy from Balaji and Karthik should copy from me. As soon as the test began, Venkatraman started implementing the plan. Things went on well till he completed filling his front side of the first sheet. Then he turned the sheet to continue writing the answer not waiting for Balaji to copy. So, I tried to turn his sheet and he tried to prevent me from doing so and in the process, his answer paper got crushed. He was enraged and crumpled my answer paper in return. Seeing us fight, Balaji started laughing. Seeing him laugh, I tore Balaji's answer paper. Thank God the teacher cancelled the test or else I would have been beaten black and blue by Balaji.

3. During a class test, Dhanasekar copied every single word from my answer paper including my NAME!!

4. EG professor asked us to buy a rolling roller from him. It's MRP was 18rs. He asked everyone to bring 20rs. He asked us to come according to our roll number with the money to collect the rolling roller. Everyone except Laxman went with 20rs. He alone came with 18rs. The EG professor collected 20rs from the student, gave him the rolling roller and the remaining 2rs. This continued till it was Laxman's turn to go next. He handed 18rs to the EG professor. The professor responded by saying "yow, nee irabadhu rubha tha ya, na rendu rubha tharen(You give me 20rs and I'll give you 2rs)". Laxman sarcastically said "Sir, idhule correct ah 18rs irruku(I've given you the exact price - 18rs)".The professor said "yow, adhu paravalaya, nee irabadhu rubha tha ya, na rendu rubha tharen(That's alright but you give me 20rs and I'll give you 2rs)". Laxman cursed the old professor for being so dumb. He went back to class to get the 20rs, gave the money to the professor, got the change and the rolling roller!

5. Maths teacher made a test null and void as she knew the entire class had copied. She went from one bench to another asking the students what they had copied in the test. Everyone said jacobian. When she came near Nagaraj, she asked "What is your name?" and Nagaraj said "Jacobian"!

6. On the day when we were asked to collect the provisional certificates and consolidated mark sheet, I asked Dhanasekar whether he remembered the names of all the staffs right from the first semester. He said yes. I asked him "Who handled CA(computer architecture) for us"? He said Devi Bala(name of a theater in Chennai) instead of Kamala Devi.

Funny Moments In School

1. Be it school, be it college, the case was always the same - Last hour preparation. The only difference was, in school, the last hour preparations used to be before each term exam, but in college it used to be only before the semester exam. It was the term exam before half yearly exam. The paper was English 1 and a sure shot detail from "The man who saved pumplesdrop" was expected. I knew nothing about that prose and didn't make any attempt to know it! So I went to school early on the day of the exam and asked my friend Gopinath to explain the prose. He had already explained it to 2 other people. He said he'll just give a gist as he had to do some revision work. As he just finished explaining, Venkatraman entered the classroom and asked Gopinath to explain the prose. Gopinath told him an entirely different story. This is what he said: "Pumplesdrop was once a prosperous town. It's economy, popularity etc decreased over the years and was no longer prosperous." Let me say the remaining of what he said in Tamil to give it a better read. "adhukaparama oru nal, andha oor le irrukure ellarum thanni adichittu paduthutange. Adutha nal andha oor munneriduchu(Then one day, the entire town boozed and slept. The next day, the town became prosperous)". Venkatraman believed the entire story and wrote exactly what he heard from Gopi in the exam. Venkatraman faced a fierce reprimand from the English teacher when she distributed the answer paper. I still can't help laughing when I recollect this incident.

2. Gadhadharan, when asked to tell the gist of the prose Albert Einstein, accidentally said "a girl asked Einstein to spend a NIGHT with her" instead of "a girl asked Einstein to spend an EVENING with her".

3. Vamsi Krishna was sent out of the class by different teachers for an entire day. First hour was maths. Vamsi Krishna was doing physics assignment during maths hour. He was caught and sent out. The next hour was physics. Vamsi was sent out because he was doing physics assignment during maths hour. The next hour was again maths and he was sent out for the same reason. The fourth hour was chemistry. Vamsi failed to answer a question so he was sent out. Fifth hour was computer science and Vamsi was sent out because he didn't bring his text book. The sixth hour was Sanskrit. Vamsi's parents were supposed to meet the Sanskrit teacher who happened to be our class teacher that afternoon but didn't show up. So vamsi was sent out. The last 3 hours were computer lab sessions and he was not allowed to enter the lab because he didn't bring his text book.

4. I was asked to tell the gist of the prose "Water the elixir of life". Instead of saying "the author stood on the Libyan desert", I said "the author stood on the lesbian desert". Thank god the teacher didn't hear it clearly. :)

5. It was Anirudh's birthday. His girl friend greeted him saying "Happy birthday". He responded by saying "Same to you".

6. It was English II hour and the teacher went on with the story of Oliver Twist. She caught Venkatraman laughing. Upon asking why?, Venkatraman responded by saying "I laughed because Nancy died". The teacher was stunned and the whole class burst into peals of laughter.

Impaired Hearing Syndrome

1.Happened during Balaji's brother's reception.Balaji(my school friend) came near Srinath(my school friend) carrying a small girl.
Srinath : What's her name?
Balaji : Ananya.
Srinath : Annonymous ah?

2.Happened during Balaji's brother's reception.
I : saapadu potadhum joots sollu, veetukku poi IPL finals pakanum(Inform me when dinner is ready to be served. I need to get home quickly to watch the IPL final).
Balaji : Juice ange irrukku da(Juice is over there).

3.Happened during Balaji's brother's reception.
Srinath : Balaji appa young ah irrukar(Balaji's father looks very young).
I : Adho ange ninnukittu irrukar da.(He is standing right there).

4.Happened when I was casually talking with my friend Raghu.
Raghu : Nethiki nan maava kudichen da(Yesterday I drank flour).
I : Maava eppidi da kudiche(How can you drink flour)?
Raghu : enna da aachiryama paakare(why do you look so surprised)?
I : enna maava kudiche? maida maava illa arisi maava?(what flour did you drink? rice flour or wheat flour)?
Raghu : Ada pavi nan maava pathi pesale, Maa mango dring pathi pesinen(Oh my god, I wasn't talking about flour, I was talking about a mango drink named Maa).

5.Happened in college.
Manoj Balaji or Dhanasekar(not sure) : Id card podadhe pasangaleyellam pudikarange da.(Students not wearing ID cards are being caught).
I : Enge da(where)?
MB or D : Near the toilet. Twenty rupees fine.
Aswin Kumar : amam da mufti le irrukange.(Yes they are in mufti).

Mokkai

Disclaimer : Not suited for those who hate MOKKAI.

Speaking of mokkai, many persons come to my mind, but only one stands tall and that is Manoj Balaji. Though he is one of my best friends, his mokkais are hard to digest. This post will mainly be on Mr.Manoj Balaji and his infamous mokkais.

List of his frequent mokkais:

1. X : Unakku avane male (he is far better than you).
MB : Avan male dhan (yes he is indeed a male).
2. X : Enna aachu solda (tell me what happened)?
MB : Enna aachu (What happened)?
3. X : Mudiyale da (im unable to bear it).

MB : Adhan evlo mudi irruke apparam enna mudiyale? (You aren't bald. You have a lot of hair).

List of 5 star mokkais:

1. Krishna Prasad : sevuthule ball ah adikadhe da (Don't hit the ball on the wall).

Manoj Balaji : south le adikale north le adikaren (I'm not hitting the ball south, I'm hitting it north).

2. Saravana Balaji : Enna da vandi ootare (Don't you know how to ride a bike)?

Manoj Balaji : Apache (I'm riding Apache).

3. Even if you don't see him, you can get hit by his mokkais. Once I was chatting with Manoj Balaji on YM. Instead of 'OK' I accidentally typed 'IJ'(I is adjacent to O and J is adjacent to K on a keyboard). It was a typo error. Manoj Balaji's response made my sign out of YM. This was what he typed - ijklmnopqrstuvwxyz!

He is currently in Mysore working for infosys and I don't know how many heads are rolling there because of him. There are a few other mokkai kings and I would like to list them with their stand out mokkais.

1. Karthik(EEE dept).

X : You are not supposed to bring cell to college. It's Banned.

Karthik : But there is already a cell in our college. The placement cell.

2. Venkatraman(ECE dept).
I : I've updated my blog. Read it when you find time.

Venkatraman : How can I find time? It's Invisible.
I: ?#$%@#@!

As Busy As ME!

I was so busy enjoying the vettiest days of my life that I failed to find time to blog! :). I'm sleeping a nice 10 hours a day and that's only on an average. Many a days I sleep for nearly 12 hours. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep for at least 6 hours a day once I enter the corporate world. So I'm trying to make up for the sleep that I'm gonna lose in the future, in advance! Sleep has always been my best friend and I managed to increase our intimacy in the last 2 months by a zillion factorial. Sleep is my 1st best friend and eating is a very close second :). Evenings are always fun as I play cricket in SCG (Somasundaram cricket ground). Irrespective of whether I end up being on the losing side or the winning side, I enjoy every second of it. Now there are a few MUST mentions. Firstly, the absence of the star player Krishna Prasad is being felt, especially after the slap controversy which set the stage for him to showcase his reflex actions! Secondly, the absence of Vibushanan is being felt. He is still in government hospital in coma stage feeling the wrath of Krishna's slap. lol. Doctors say he keeps uttering the word Krishna again and again in his coma, and they think it's Lord Krishna. :). The most animated person on the field is Laxman. I don't know how, but there is always a tiff between him and water(Arjun) on the field. Laxman wants a run every ball and he runs for just about everything. Poor Arvind falls victim every time. lol. The most famous person of our team is Vichu(the outfielder). While on the field, he will cover the entire ground a hundred times. His usual position is long off and he is so enthusiastic that I wouldn't be surprised if he comes running from long off to collect a ball that has been hit in the slip quadrant. Sharath, like Misbah ul haq finds different ways to get out every match. Venkatraman is another player who knows no other way of getting out other than being bowled. Ajay is the new found Lasith Malinga of our team after his four wicket haul in an over! Sometimes we play football after cricket but mostly we sit on the kutti sevuru and talk. After returning home, I go online to check mails. Mostly there will be a conference chat which will last for an hour. After that I play raw vs smackdown 2008 on my PlayStation2 console and then hit the bed to greet my best friend ~ sleep. Unbelievably busy schedule huh? Need a personal assistant to manage time for me . Don't expect any salary! :)

Pleasant Nostalgia

I came across Einstein's theory of relativity when I was in eleventh standard, where it was explained with an example of a guy sitting near a girl for an hour and a guy sitting on a hot stove for a second. Fortunately I still have my back intact as I didn't try to experiment the quoted example even though the first example was quite tempting. But my college life really did strike a chord with Einstein's theory of relativity. Every minute of my college life was certainly a moment to cherish. When I think of all those fun filled, jolly moments, my college life seems to have been an eternity. But when I think of my college life as a whole, it's just 4 years. Time went by so quickly that I fail to accept 4 years as 4 years! Whatever be the case, the four years of college life from 2k4 to 2k8 will remain as one of the most cherished phase of my life. The symposiums, industrial visits, final year project, week of e3, class hours, hostel galattas, standing outside principal's office, culturals and not to forget the birthday parties and the birthday bums will remain as evergreen memories. All these moments are priceless. Why? Cuz my classmates were a part of it. I don't know what the future holds for them, but they'll certainly stay as legends in my heart.

luv ya legends.

I Am Dead

I was hurt, bleeding like hell and every cell of my body was aching. Fatigue was getting the better of me and I was losing conciousness with every step I took. I had been stabbed on my left arm and there was plenty of bruises all over my body. I was finding it very difficult to run but I had no choice other than to run as my life was at stake. I was being chased by a gang of ruffians armed with dangerous weapons. I had no clue what so ever about where I was and where I was running to. I knew I can't run much longer as I was bleeding profusely and was running out of energy. I had to escape from these barbarians somehow. As I was planning a way to escape, I came across a big bungalow with a very large courtyard. I thought of giving those ruffians a slip by hiding inside that bungalow oblivious to the fact that the bungalow was those ruffian's hideout! I increased my pace and ran faster to evade the run pursuit. As I neared the bungalow, the courtyard seemed like what appeared to be a maze. With no second thoughts I entered it. Soon after I entered the maze, I found out that it was constructed with walls well over twenty feet in height on all sides. There were two paths, one led straight into the heart of the maze and the other, as far as I can see, traced a path along the circumference of the maze. I took the latter path.

I walked for about a minute or so and came across a six foot wall that marked the end of the path. I was walking slowly in order to catch my breath. I reached that six foot wall and was feeling confident that I was safe but horror struck once again as I found two of the five men who were chasing me on the other side of the wall. Both of them seemed unarmed and I was thinking of fighting my way past them but my body just wouldn't cooperate and I immediately thought of retreat. As I turned to retrace my path, I saw the remaining three ruffians charging towards me with spears in their hands. I knew I had to fight my way out of this mess. Fighting two men instead of three would definitely give me more chances of survival. Thinking so, I jumped over the six foot wall and ran towards the two thugs. They saw me and took out their clubs from behind a bush. One stood where he was and the other approached me with his club in hand, aimed for my head and gave a huge swing. I evaded his attack and directed a powerful kick towards his groin region. It connected and he was down on his knees the next second. I took his club and clobbered him. It was one down and four to go. Seeing his patner being assaulted, the secong thug came to save him. He went down in a similar fashion to his patner. By this time, the remaining three ruffians had jumped over the wall and were running towards me to maul me. Then suddenly, there came a voice "STOP" from behind me. I turned around and saw the head of the gang standing a few feet away pointing a gun at me. Before I could do anything, he triggered the gun shot and the bullet made a bore into my forehead. I fell on the ground and the message GAME OVER flashed all over the screen! I was in no mood to start it all over again as I had already been at it for hours. I decided to watch a movie instead.

Murphy's Dummies

Murphy's laws are awesome would be an understatement and I love reading them as they really do strike a chord with reality. I'm a member in orkut's Murphy's law community where countless Murphy's laws are listed. Recently, I came across a few Murphy's laws which I strongly believe don't actually qualify as Murphy's Law. There are two so called Murphy's law that I would like to contradict :

1. One never gets an engaged tone when he dials a wrong number.
2. Ones nose starts to itch when his hands are greased.

There is this Murphy's law that states "one never gets an engaged tone when he dials a wrong number". Well for starters, one can never know that he has dialed the wrong number if he gets an engaged tone. It is only after the call is attended, the person gets to know whether he has dialed the correct number or the wrong number. If the call goes unattended or if the caller get an engaged tone, the caller is least bothered to verify the genuineness of the number dialed and proceeds to make the call again. So I think this so called Murphy's law sucks.

There is another Murphy's law that states "ones nose starts to itch when his hands are greased". This law sucks too. This is because, it is only when a persons hand is greased and his nose starts to itch, he realises that he can do nothing about it other than to ask someone for help or clean his hand and itch his nose. Under normal circumstances, even if ones nose starts to itch, he makes no notice of it as he is free to use his hands and itch his nose.

Basically most of the Murphy's law rocks and are very practical but the above two laws can never fit in as a Murphy's law. One can have several million reasonings before stating something but must see to it that there is no room for reasoning after stating something.

Some of my personal favourite Murphy's Law are:
1. Everything takes longer than you think.
2. You never run out of things that can go wrong.
3. Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
4. Brains x Beauty x Availability = Constant.
5. If you think education is expensive -- try ignorance!